I am glad that Cory Monteith died.
That sounds outrageous doesn't it?
Don't misunderstand, I am saddened to hear about the death of this talented young man. It is heart wrenching to think of what his family is going through right now. However, as strange as it may seem I feel appreciative for anything that brings addiction to the forefront of peoples minds...anything that is far reaching enough to save lives.
Cory Monteith was a successful actor and musician and he was raised in a good home with loving parents. He had friends, a beautiful girlfriend and probably more money than he could ever spend.
And he was a drug addict.
He had battled the disease since he was 13 years old.
Seemingly doing well since his last 30 day stint in rehab, no one expected Cory Monteith to die.
I didn't expect my son, Max, to die either.
"He appeared healthier than he had ever been..."
That's what Cory's friends said who had dinner with him just hours before he died.
They are the same words I used to describe my son at his funeral.
Addiction is a disease.
Since 2011 drug related deaths have outnumbered traffic fatalities and, according to the 2012 United Nations Report, more than 200,000 people around the world die from drug abuse every year. Even more disturbing is the fact that less than one out of every five people who need treatment actually receive it.
My son was one of the few who did receive treatment.
Cory Monteith? He received treatment too.
Does this mean my son was one of the lucky ones? Cory Monteith? Was he lucky?
What is left after such a young, promising life is cut short?
Their story. That's what is left.
It is why I tell Max's story and it is why I so outrageously said I am glad Cory Monteith is dead. I am, of course, not glad that he is dead. I am sickened and saddened all at once. It is the same way I feel every time I hear about another person losing their battle with addiction. I feel like I need to do more...reach more people...make more people understand that addiction is not a choice. I am hopeful that the far reaching legacy that Cory Monteith leaves behind will save lives that Max's story won't be able to reach.
Because maybe, in the middle of all the statistics and sadness and senseless loss someone like myself will stand up and say "I know someone that died from a drug overdose...and he wasn't any different than you are."
If there is one thing in this life that I am certain of it is the fact that if my child can be an addict and die from a heroin overdose than anyone can.
Because drugs are everywhere.
They are in your child's school.
They are in your child's school.
They live on your street.
They sleep under your roof.
They can happen to anyone, at any time.
A tragic death like Cory Monteith reinforces that.
My mom asked me today if I knew who the highest paid actor of 2012 was.
"No," I told her. "Who?"
"Robert Downey Jr." she said, "how does he stay sober?"
"I think he finally fully understood step 1 of the 12 step program, he admitted he was powerless to drugs," I told her.
She agreed and added that he really loved his wife and kids too and that must motivate him.
"Mom," I said, "addicts don't get sober for other people."
"You're right," she said, "I forgot."
Her only grandson died less than two years ago...and she forgot...
It's a shame it takes another death for people to remember.
But that is the cycle of life I guess...it goes on.
It is our job, as the survivors of addiction, to make sure that our loved ones story is told. It is our job to stand up tall and say that our loved one died from drug abuse and that there is no shame in it.
